Did you get the Memo?

The National Book Critics Circle has launched a Campaign to Save Book Reviewing. This post is part of the campaign's blog series, which features posts by concerned writers, op-eds, Q&As, and tips about how you can get involved to make sure those same owners and editors know that book sections matter.

MEMORANDUM

From: The League of Fascists, Bullies, Oppressors, and Dopes (LFBOD)
To: The Membership

Dudes (and Emily):

Great news! Several major newspapers have radically reduced their books coverage! As we discussed at our little confab last month, this is super news in terms of our overall Yearly Goal #3, "Dumbing Down the Populace So That, Like a Stunned Goose, They May Be Plucked." As you will remember, we concluded that one of the most effective ways of hamstringing/eroding democracy is to render the populace less articulate, which in turn reduces the citizen's ability to express himself or herself in words, which in turn makes the citizenry more inclined to think in big vague generalities, as well as making them more anxious and aggressive. Which is when we sweep in!

For centuries, books and the intelligent discussion of same by impassioned blah blah blah has served to sharpen the wit of the nation and make the people less susceptible to trickery. So it is with great delight that I announce this watershed day for all of us who dream of someday living in a nation where brute force, ancient prejudices, and the power-seeking will of the few prevail. Let's hope this trend continues! It would be fantastic if we could achieve a few more of our goals this year, such as (1) continuing our important work against the independent bookstore, (2) the gradual "borrowing" of all dictionaries and burning of same, and (3) the replacement of all books in the library with Internet portals, which don't actually connect to anything, but just show cartoons all day.

Anyway, carry on! My hope is that, when we meet again next year, speaking not in words but grunts, not a single paper in America will have a books editor or a books magazine, and in fact no one will write about books anymore, except, of course, for my book, "Don't Get All Intellectual on Me: The Power of Broad Crude Thought!"

With very best regards, your Chairman,
Lance "Brownshirt" Smathers

(as dictated to George Saunders)